Monday, January 23, 2006

"Look at those two boobs... Heckle & Jeckle!" - Stanley Roper

(Yeah, that's a Three's Company reference. Actually, my friend Karen named her bosoms that. Goes without saying that she's a Rubenesque black woman with smokeable hair.)

Six years ago I was hanging around with some friends, and Michelle asked me privately who I thought had larger breasts, her or our friend Melissa. I told Melissa about that inquiry later when I was giving her a ride home, and she said she too wondered who I thought was bigger. The question in its duplicate form took me aback for several reasons. First, I didn't realize that women had that sort of envy thing going on like some guys at the urinal/in the locker room do. But women are human and have egos too, I suppose. Second, they were both in halter tops so there shouldn't have been much research required to answer the question, just a quick glance around the room. (Michelle was a full-figured C, Melissa was a conical B.) Third, when I asked for more empiracal data neither were willing to hang theirs out right then to eliminate further speculation, yet they both expressed curiosity. I had seen both of them topless at least once over the course of the summer, but not yet when the question was posed. Fourth, and most cloying, why were they asking me this question? I was flattered that my opinion was being requested and valued, and that my (dwindling) sense of vision and my mind's interpretation of spacial relations and dimension were being trusted. Neither were willing to actually present evidence and neither had any greater interest in me than being a buddy, so what point would there be in (pardon the pun) tittilation? Did they seek an honest judgement of size and aesthetics, or were they testing to see if they could get (pardon the pun again) a rise out of me? Possibly they mistook me as gay and thus would make a fair and unbiased judge, but they should have been aware that I wasn't [gay, I mean], I'd flirted with them both a few times. Oh well, no complaints, just curiosity what was on their minds beside competative/comparative body image.

I don't know if this thought qualifies as a stupidity, but it's ponderous nonetheless. Why is it that some of the most renowned experts on sex are people whom at first glance appear as though they could never get any themselves? Image links:
Old Dr. StokesAlfred Kinsey. Get jiggy with Eraserhead!
Masters & Johnson. Sexless. Beside each other, of course.
Ruth Westheimer. "A small Jewish woman that talks about oral sex, yet you know she doesn't eat pork." - Robin Williams
Sue Johanson. Her I can picture as exciting, though. Potentially a grand-MILF!
This guy at the left. Especially him. He'd flippin' croak! Picture sitting in his office and asking for sexual advice. Can you? Would you?

The February update to Laughter is the Spackle of the Soul has been posted, a week early as I prefer it to be, so there's some more stupidity to enjoy.

Seriously comparing boob size is ridiculous. I've seen plenty of ugly women with huge racks, and likewise, there are plenty of beautiful women with itty bitties.
I guess if those people have parented children, then we know for sure, they've at least had a few tumbles under the sheets. Just imagining Dr. Ruth makes me laugh. Her voice alone would annoy to no end. I feel sorry for her hubby.
Two people comparing sizes of whatever is inherent to their gender is natural, even if it is silly. We have this notion that bigger is better, which isn't the case when it comes to breasts but everyone's got an ego.

And coincidentally, I've noticed more ugly women with big busts than small, and more beautiful women with small busts than big. Tha nature of the beast/breast? :)

I don't feel sorry for Dr. Ruth's spouse, even if I don't envy what he gets to see/do. To be so knowledgeable and eager as she is, he probably gets all the "goot secks!" he can handle! Doubly so with Sue, I hope her man is 20 years her junior. :)
pretty women have smaller breasts than ugly women? or women with small breasts are prettier than women with big breasts? is there anything about asses?
Generalizations are always wrong :) but I have noticed that part of a person being ugly is that they've let their bodies go, ergo ugly fat women with big busts. Yes, there are ugly trim women. Have also noticed that a majority of women who have thin bodies and thus usually smaller busts have good faces and good attitudes, thus are attractive. Yes, there are beautiful large women.

As for rears: that's a different post, and I've never heard of two women speaking enviously about each other's asses unless the person doing the talking has (what she considers) a big one. LOL!
I looked at the new pics and captions yesterday, but didn't comment on them.
The two that stuck with me were the cracked-faced boy and the old pic where the guy was trying to block out the neighbor's view How DARE they build a second story!
I would have reserved judgement until seeing the actual goods. Or at least like one of those puzzles where you can look at the actual answer after you've written in yours.

What if you organized an orgy and only invited these researchers?
Lacked a way to effectively do that, short of hosting the files, Indie.

What if there was a sexual revolution yet no one came?
Now that's a great, original line that should outlast viagra.
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