Sunday, March 12, 2006
Good fences make good neighbors – and the opposite is true too
They say that good fences make good neighbors. What about bad fences or bug-infested hedges? Here we see where the property line rests, right down the middle of a hedge, and apparently the Guy On The Left didn't see fit to do the whole thing... "it's not MY problem, it's HIS side of the shrub." To be fair, the Guy On the Right is doing some other home improvements, notably he has replaced his driveway (there are "Do Not Enter" sawhorses across the entry) so he's not a total slob and the need to even out the hedge just fell on his already-loaded plate. Thanks, neighbor! You had the clippers in your hands!
Have you ever noticed that when the word "morning" is used in advertising, it insinuates "freshness"... except when speaking of the state of one's mouth, wherein it means quite the opposite? Sure you did, even without that one Scope ad to compete with all those detergent ads. Of course, according to Folgiers, "morning fresh" is that face you make when you open up the can of coffee, or brew a cup, then take a BIIIIG whiff of it... it's the best part of waking up.
Okay, it's ready: The Pimpin' Life of Bill Ding has been updated to contain 55 advertising images, up from 16. Go see!
Silly commercial of the day, perhaps you've seen it, is for a "male enhancement" product whose name escapes me. This features the Darren Stevens-looking guy (but unlike the two Dicks, he's apparently straight) with the huge cheesy grin. There are two: one where he's at a pool party and he comes out of the pool posing with his cheesy grin, and we get a quick shot of his swimtrunks floating in the pool, then the group at poolside looking at him with amazement and amusement; the other shows him walking around with that cheesy grin and then we see his wife with a similarly cheesy (and excited) grin. Bravo to you, 1950's Domestic God, and I hope you can find other acting jobs in the future.
I'm a hell of a lot of fun to drive around with because instead of playing Slug-Bug, I play a game called Icicle Lights. I play it between February 1 and October 31. Here is how you play it: When you're out driving around and you see a house which has icicle lights on it, when according to the calendar Christmas is nowhere nearby, you point and shout "Icicle Liiiights!" It can be played with C-6, C-7, C-9, LED, or standard indoor light strings as well, you just have to adjust the phrasing to "Christmas liiights!" or something. Bonus points for having icicles and other types concurrently, as seen here a block away from where the hedge above was shot; bonus points also issued when only half of a duplex is strung with lights (this applies during winter as well). It's loads of fun and I play it constantly. Others I travel with are getting bored with the game because I have the houses on some routes memorized (showing they're still up in the spring), but I like travel so I do get to play it with people in unknown territory sometimes. This reminds me of the house a block away from the house where I grew up, which had a spotty string of C-9's sagging across the eaves on the side of the house for over twenty years, and I have no recollection of them being turned on even once. Try it, it's fun, and you'll be surprised how often you can score points, both in residential neighborhoods and when driving through the ruralities... anywhere there's not a apartment agreement or neighborhood covanant in place with strict rules about holiday displays. Great for those family vacation drives in July!
Stupidity down the street: Yes, it's great that the Seattle Seahawks went to the Superbowl, even if they couldn't play offense and the refs made obviously dubious rulings. Lots of "Go Seahawks" can be seen in stickers and written in dust on the back of vehicles still. Someone however needs to slap the guy who spraypainted Seahawks 1# [sic] in red on the side of his house. Stupidity at work: Was in the men's room the other day and this coworker sidles up to the urinal next to me while talking on his cell phone, in a Middle Eastern language, using the hands-free earpiece. I really really wanted to shout and have it echo off the tiles, "He's taking a piss while on the phone with you!!!" Sigh, I didn't.
The hedge thing is just crazy. Come on, people! Maybe they can't agree on what the height of the hedge should be, so the one guy trims in lower.
I'm not a fan of fences. They can look pretty shabby.
Christmas lights in March should be a crime.
Christmas lights in July are worse than March. At least it can be understood if someone is old or frail or it's been really cold out if it's the first part of the year. But really, Christmas lights on the house when the daffodils are about to bloom is like whatever color socks after whatever holiday. :)
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