Thursday, August 10, 2006

Click for sausage! Wowza get consterpated!

men's dainty underthingsI don't necessarily have anything new and brilliant to say, but I will show you some 1970's so in men wearing slingshot underwear. [Click a guy's pouch to see the ad in full sordid glory, ~900kb.] Don't short out your new keyboard drooling, Alene. Don't short out your old keyboard drooling, Obie. Don't short out your keyboard doing a spit-take with whatever you're sipping, Jamie. Don't burst a vein laughing, Ariel; we were confused back then. You are welcome to say "oh, geez" and hum merrily, Matthau. Don't go blind from this, Indie and Illiterate; I didn't post this to hurt you. And everyone else can just post a response so I know you're out there. It's my Friday and by golly I'm gonna make you react in some tangible form. I just got off a call regarding one work-related stupidity and a serious peeve of mine: By the guidelines everyone in this cellular provider supposedly follows, phone batteries have one year warranties and those are fulfilled through the stores -- they're the only ones who can do it -- yet the stores keep telling people to call my department (the phone teching/replacement folks) because their personnel can't freaking read. "We don't carry them" does not negate "we can get them, and are the department which does that." Oh, and if I didn't mention it before: digital convergeance is bad, and you shouldn't play attempt to music -- especially anything encoded as Windows Media Audio with Digital Rights Management incorporated -- on your cell phone. Got it? Tangental thought: I find it encouraging that the guy on the other side of the cube wall facing me right now usually looks like Michael Douglas in Falling Down on a bad day. I'll be over here, minding my manners.

Weekend homewrecking project agenda:
* Remove the rubber moldings around the perimeter, for they are a scourge of God. (Fuh Glee!)
* Remove the wood trim strips around the doors, for they have been fouled by the ingestors of methamphetimines. (Beautiful stained wood got painted over in white latex.)
* Remove the linoleum backsplash around the vanity. (Horrible dog juice out of the carpet!)
* Take down that medicine cabinet. (Not another freaking minute!)
* Clean out the vanity so it can be painted. (She emptied one shelf two weeks ago and the contents are still in front of the vanity, taking up foot-space. Spinach what she started.)
* Make the clear caulk around the tub go byebye. (It ain't so clear anymore.)
* Put that Black & Decker 'Mouse' to good use at last by sanding the thrashed yeccie areas where there was molding, trim strips, old fixtures, feral house pets, poorly-glued wallpaper, and backsplash. (That's pronounced "yetch-chee". It's Italian.)
* Would be nice to put a coat of paint over some of those freshly-sanded areas (and the patch under the light) because we can see drywall in those places, in anticipation of the full paint job of next week. (The original owner painted once, ever, and future generations didn't remove anything before painting.... everywhere.)
* Get our delightful houseguest for the weekend, her neice Amanda, to do as much of the above as possible while we suck down Mimosas and Mudslides on the couch. (Just kidding.)

The tile for around the perimeter will be arriving next week, we still need to buy/order some grout (the color is the deciding factor on which), and the nine day break to undertake the heavy work begins in one week, five and a half hours!

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