Thursday, October 05, 2006

A hymn with two verses and a chorus

This weekend I'll be heading to Portland, Oregon to do some sightseeing and visit friends. Jeff M., you are a douche-nozzle. The timing could be slightly better -- my wife is having her mother and mom's best friend Eunicycle over tonight and her best friend Sharona over the next night, and while I adore her mom and have the greatest respect for Sharona, that screechy Eunicycle person should be avoided by a wide swath. The stupidity of my day has been walking out front to get the newspaper and finding a kittycrap landmine hidden in the grass via stepping on it, and the aroma isn't going away no matter how or how often I scrub my shoe. I plan to be wearing different shoes when I drive tomorrow, but you gotta think some of this feline goodness has found its way to my brake pedal and floormat.

Useless trivia about me: I drive in a manner that would give driver's ed teachers a fit. I don't mean irratically, I mean that I use my right foot for the gas and my left foot for the brake. I drive an automatic so I have two pedals; I have two feet so I don't see why I can't use them both. People have said that it's bad for the brakes to drive with a foot on the gas and a foot on the brake; I point out that if they look at my feet, only one foot and pedal is in use at any time. People have said that this confuses you when you have to drive a manual. Not really, I don't often drive manuals but when I do I have no problem clutching with the left and braking/accellerating with the right... my hemispheres work fine. I don't believe this method of driving is particularly unique, but no one who has noticed my pedal procedure has said they know anyone else who does it.
You'll notice this ad has nothing to do with sex.
For better muscle tone and tensions... yeah.

The foot pedal thing is pretty odd. I'm sure there are not too many people who do that. I see no problem with it though as long as you don't push both down at the same time.
Cat poop smells so horrid.. beyond horrid. Throw those shoes away. There's no use trying to salvage them.
The ad is quite funny. It says the body firming product can be used any place, any time. I'm sure a woman whipping that out in a crowded elevator and using it for shoulder tightness might get a few stares. I noticed they made a point to say it is seven inches long. Very funny indeed!!!
I don't push both pedals at the same time, though any wear on my brakes (and I had both sets replaced a couple months ago, after five years of use) automatically gets blamed on doing such.

Those shoes are okay now but it pretty much required wearing them around for a day. I'm not wearing them at the moment... this is being written from the City of Roses, and to my knowledge my car does not smell like kittycrap. The bedroom I'm staying in does though, but blame a real life tuxedo cat for that. :)

She'd get some serious stares if not only did she whip that theraputic vibrator out in the elevator, she hoisted it under her skirt to work on that tense inner thigh muscle. Or if she walked into a minimart, went up to the counter holding her massager up, and asked if they have any batteries. (Apu: "Thank you, please come again...")

I have a correction to make in the next entry to something I said above. Wait for it. Jeff M. is still a douchebag, I shoulda heard from him by yesterday. I waited for it. I have eaten hamburgers for every meal since yesterday afternoon... that's living!
I've never seen anyone driving like that, either, but it's true that most cars here are manual. well, as long as it works for you. :)

that ad has obviously nothing to do with sex, although that thing in the girl's hand reminds me of something, I'm sure I must have seen something shaped like that before...
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