Monday, January 28, 2008

your memory rests on my mind like toilet paper hanging from trees after a rainy weekend

There is no significance to today's title, I just wanted to come up with a unique mental image as a way to make up for lacking worthwhile content. :) No, really, sometimes I plot all week what I want to write and sometimes I think "it's the usual day of the week to write, but now what to say?" And this is one of those "now what?" moments. I'm playing hookie from work today, or more accurately I'm taking a snow day because it was coming down pretty heavily when I got up to prepare for my commute so I called in. Granted, by noon about half of it had melted (the pretty half, I must add, not the part where I have to drive) and while the weatherman says today will be the coldest day of the week it'll still be below freezing level for a day or two more so that water and slush will be ice which I intend to drive on tomorrow. Double Death Gotta make the dollas, baybee, to fund my lavish kitchen improvin' lifestyle, and there's still $500 left to earn to pay off the new couch we've ordered from La-Z-Boy. And no, I still haven't gotten that master cylander fixed yet... we haven't found here the documentation Saturn can't find there, but that $1500 is in savings waiting (and I'm gonna throw in a brake job when I do get that surgery done).

I was quite gleeful last week because I had filed my taxes, and when it came to the 1099-G amount (unemployment compensation) I put in the amount of the one check I received in October. Two days later, the actual 1099-G showed up and... uh, I forgot about the nine weeks at the beginning of last year I was collecting, so the reported sum is $2600 off, reducing the refund by $400, which is greater than 25% so by law I have to fix this. Since my taxes had already been submitted, I have to file a 1040X to fix the issue and paid H&R Block online $80 for them to get in touch with me so we could get this fixed. (Yes, doing it on paper is probably free. Yes, by law I have 3 years to do this.) It's been several days and no email or call, so I'm getting miffed.

Ohhh, you touched my tra-la-la... mmm, my ding-ding-dong... -- Gunther

The embarassing moment of the day: I've become friends with one of my coworkers, this 20-year-old blue-eyed devil, and he showed me this web video one night from some really cheesy-sleezy 1970's porno that featured a black couple copulating and a white 'mad scientist' Gene Wilder-wannabe type overseeing the process while commanding some absolutely rediculous stuff in baby-talk. One line was so over-the-top that I had to record it with my phone: the scientist gets insanely angry and shouts "You clamp down on that g** d*** dick, and you bite it ah-ah-ahhff!!" (The couple slowly looks up at him like 'what the hell?!') That is my ringtone for this coworker's calls. So the other night he called; I was in my office on the computer and the phone was in the livingroom, so it took a couple plays of the sample for me to get there. My wife and mother-in-law, both sitting on the couch four feet away from my phone, were rather surprised shall we say. I spent the first thirty seconds of the conversation laughing.

Despite today being the perfect day to catch up on some long-ignored projects, I can't say I've accomplished much beside paying the bills I intended to take care of a week prior. And I can't blame the snow for that. The February update to Laughter is the Spackle of the Soul was posted right before I started this so go have a few laughs. I hope your weather is better, wherever you are...

I've been meaning to extract a sound file from 12 Monkeys (I had this as an answering machine message once, accomplished by holding the reciever up to the TV) "Police? Hey I'm the innocent victim here.. I was attacked by a coked-up whore and a .. a f!@#ing crazy dentist!"
Bad news about the reduced tax refund. You are being a honest fellow.
We're having warm weather now. Tomorrow is supposed to be up to 73 degrees. Courtney calls it Bi Polar Weather here. She is correct.
I have no comment about your ring tone.
Well, I guess I just commented.
I'm hoping for a mild Feb., then we will be well on our way for spring to get sprung.
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